I *heart* projects

I have a back door. I realize most people have a back door, but I have a back DOOR. This is news. Before today I had a back piece-of-crap-door that could not be locked from the outside. As a result, I had to walk all the way from the front door, around the side of the house and to the backyard to get to the garage, tramping a path through the already sad grass. This trek was occasionally made even more convenient by things such as rain or darkness (you couldn't see if there were roaches in the grass) or having to carry a little person the whole time. No more! Now I can just go out the back door and take the sidewalk to the garage. It's spectacular! It's fabulous! It's convenient!

It poses a unique set of problems.

Well, not problems, per se. Issues? Yes, issues of convenience and style. Up till now, stuff central has been in the living room, where the front door is. You know what I mean by "stuff central"--the place you dump your stuff when you walk in the door. Keys, shoes, jackets, mail, backpacks, children. Now stuff central needs to be relocated to the back door(!). My husband and I have different ideas about what this means. Home decor is not necessarily one of his...um...strengths? Concerns? He just doesn't care all that much. Which is a pretty good deal most of the time, because I can decorate the way I want. Sometimes though, such as in the case of the back door, a piece of furniture will end up serving a purpose just because it's convenient. He doesn't care if it's fugly. And oversized. And needs to leave the house. It works, and we have it.

I totally understand where he's coming from. He's a very practical man, and I love this about him. He is the pioneer of what he calls "Maddox ingenuity", and this is a good thing, most of the time. This is not one of those times. I want pretty furniture to catch our stuff, not old dressers missing a drawer. Or, if it can't be pretty furniture, I at least don't want it to be big, broken furniture that was on its way out of the house until it got promoted to stuff catcher. So, my project for the afternoon is to find another stuff catcher. One that's functional and already resides in our house. One that we can agree on. One that is worthy to live next to the spectacular, fabulous, convenient back door.

Pet peeves

Bad drivers, or stupid drivers, are one of my biggest pet peeves EVER. I ran into a stupid driver yesterday. Well, no, I didn't actually "run into" this driver (images of carnage and twisted metal), although I wanted to. I came across said driver yesterday. There, better?

I was taking the girls to school yesterday morning, as usual, and I was turning right from Sanger onto New Road. For non-Wacoans, suffice to say that I was turning right at a green light. Across the street from me was a long line of people waiting to turn left at the same green light. People in Waco obviously do not understand that when turning left at a green light, left-turnees must yield to oncoming traffic, EVEN IF SAID TRAFFIC IS TURNING RIGHT. So, as I'm getting ready to make my beautiful right turn (driving Aaron's truck, no less, a standard), a stupid little car turns in front of me. I'm irked, but, no matter. They made it through the intersection before I did, so I wasn't too bothered. So I turn. Green light, mind you. I HAVE THE RIGHT-OF-WAY. And then, I hear this honking noise. One of the cars turning left thought that she had the right of way, and so she turned at the same time I did, and thought that I should have waited for her. Now I'm steamed. She's so wrong! Doesn't she know?!? So I turn my head to look at her (you know the look I'm talking about) as she speeds past me (in a 20 mph school zone), and she FLIPS ME THE BIRD!!!!








See the bird? It's flipped.





(Or, as Amanda would say, she "flicked" me the bird. Sorry Amanda, I couldn't resist. I don't think I'm going to let you live that one down.)

OH!! OH, OH!!! SHE FLIPPED ME OFF? SHE FLIPPED ME OFF! STUPID, STUPID WOMAN!! I was incredulous. I was livid. I explained to her as she drove off that she didn't have the right-of-way! What was she thinking? Unbelievable! I almost wished she had hit me so I could have had the satisfaction of telling her why it was her fault. Almost. Not really.

And yet, as I have already mentioned, this is NOT the first time this has happened to me at this same intersection. I have had people turn left in front of me several dozen times. I know Waco drivers are inherently bad drivers--there's actually a sign at one of the major intersections in town asking people not to run the red light. The police put up the sign (although they don't sit at the intersection and hand out tickets)--but isn't there a limit? How do I lobby to get a sign put up at this intersection that says the obvious--left turn yields on green light? Is this a neighborhood association matter? Arrghh.

I'm totally over it now, though. Yes, I know I just ranted, but I thought it made a good story, and i was going to blog it yesterday and didn't. I'm serious about the sign, though.

And finally, one last peeve. It's not truly a pet peeve, it just irks me. I read this news story about a week or so ago about this guy who killed his girlfriend and his wife 14 years apart.

"Corbin showed no emotion when he entered his pleas and was sentenced to two life terms in prison. The judge ordered that the sentences be served simultaneously, and Corbin may be eligible for parole."

W H A T ?!?!? If the life sentences are served "simultaneously", isn't that ONE life sentence, not TWO? And if you are serving a LIFE sentence, doesn't that, by definition, mean you are in prison for *LIFE*?

I know travesties of justice like this occur every day, but I'm just flabbergasted. If I get sent to prison, I want that judge.

"Amy Maddox was sentenced to 5 years in prison today for acts of road rage. Her judge ordered that she serve the sentence in 10 six-month terms to be served simultaneously, and gave her credit for time served, which included the time she was imprisoned during her trial, so it was determined the state actually owed her compensation for her time and she is now free."

It's just sad, people.

Nice bird, though, huh?

It's about darn time

Now that I'm finished with the sixth Harry Potter book (again) and have done the necessary research into the release dates of the seventh book (unknown, though there is speculation about 7/7/2007) and fifth movie (7/13/2007), I can get on with life.

Meaning I can blog.

So, somewhere I mentioned that I might apply to the University of Illinois at Springfield Online English Program. I looked into that a bit more yesterday, and I am very sad to report that they do not accept students for the Spring semester, which is when I was hoping to start. They only accept new students in the Fall semester. Their application deadline is in January, and the lady said she encourages applicants to get started in October, so I guess, accidentally and for the first time in my life, I am running ahead of schedule. I'm still very bummed, because I was really hoping (and looking forward) to take classes this Spring, and I won't be able to start for a whole year--a whole year!! But I'm certainly not deterred. I really feel this is the best option for me (and, trust me, there aren't that many higher education options for someone who lives in Waco and can't afford Baylor.) I was a little concerned that the program doesn't offer classes specifically geared toward editing, but the lady said the program is extremely writing-intensive, and that lends itself to better editing skills, which I totally agree with. And as much as I enjoy writing, I'm also okay with that kind of a program.

In the nearer future (nearer than January or next Fall), I will be using my dubious writing skills to create a 50,000-word novel. If you haven't already, check out the NaNoWriMo site, or my own NaNoWriMo site. I'm currently polling for name ideas. Also, for those who are keeping track, and those who aren't, I have changed what I am going to write. More about that on my NaNo site.

And, finally, some pictures from our spectacular San Antonio trip. You can click on any of the pictures to view them larger.

The Riverwalk, near the Landing, I think, where we heard live jazz. Thanks, mom.


Near the fountains of the Paseo del Rio, leading to the Alamo from the Riverwalk.

The Alamo (as if you didn't already know).













The view from our hotel.


















More views of the Riverwalk, and the Landing (blue umbrellas). We went inside on Friday night and heard the Jim Cullum Jazz Band, and we sat outside for a little while on Saturday for the free jazz.

Dick and Jane Hamlet

The very small bit of irony in the fact I found this today is that today I also watched "Omelet", the VeggieTales version of Hamlet.

I found this linked from the University of Illinois at Springfield English Program website; I'm very seriously considering applying there.

And now, without further ado (and without much ado about nothing), a Dick and Jane version of Hamlet. My favorite line is "Glub, glub". If you do not enjoy morbid humor, you will not enjoy this.

---February 1958 by Larry Siegel for a first grade class.
See the man. What a funny man. His name is Hamlet. He is a prince. He is sad. Why are you sad, Hamlet?
"I am sad for my father has died," says Hamlet. "My father was the king."
Where are you going, Hamlet?
"I am going to the castle," says Hamlet.
On the way he meets a ghost. "Where are you going?" asks the ghost.
"I am going to the castle," says Hamlet.
"Boo, boo," says the ghost.
"What is your name, you silly ghost?" asks Hamlet, clapping his hands.
"I am your father," says the ghost. "I was a good king. Uncle Claudius is a bad king; He gave me poison. Would you like poison?"
"Oh, no," says Hamlet. "I would not like poison."
"Will you avenge me, Hamlet?" asks the ghost.
"Oh, yes," says Hamlet. "I will avenge you. What fun it will be to avenge you."
On the way he meets a girl.
"Where are you going?" asks the girl.
"I am going to the castle," says Hamlet.
"Ha, ha," says the girl.
"What is your name?" asks Hamlet.
"My name is Ophelia," says the girl.
"Why are you laughing?" asks Hamlet. "You are a silly goose."
"I am laughing because you are so funny," says Ophelia. "I laugh because you are a schizophrenic. Are you not a schizophrenic?"
"I am not a schizophrenic. I pretend, for I want to fool my uncle. What fun it is to pretend I am schizophrenic."
See Hamlet run. Run, Hamlet, run.
He is going to his mother's room.
"I have something to tell you, mother," says Hamlet.
"Uncle Claudius is bad. He gave my father poison. Poison is not good. Do you like poison?"
"Oh, no, indeed!" says his mother. "I do not like poison."
"Oh, there is Uncle Claudius," says Hamlet. "He is hiding behind the curtain. Why is he hiding behind the curtain?"
"I shall stab him. What fun it will be to stab him through the curtain."
See Hamlet draw his sword. See Hamlet stab.
Stab, Hamlet, stab.
See Uncle Claudius's blood. See Uncle Claudius's blood gush.
Gush, blood, gush.
See Uncle Claudius fall. How funny he looks stabbed.
Ha, ha, ha.
But it is not Uncle Claudius.
It is Polonius. Polonius is Ophelia's father.
What fun Hamlet is having.
"You are naughty, Hamlet," says Hamlet's mother. "You have stabbed Polonius."
But Hamlet's mother is not cross. She loves Hamlet. He is a good boy.
And Hamlet loves his mother. She is a good mother.
Hamlet loves his mother very much.
Does Hamlet love his mother a little too much? Perhaps.
See Hamlet run. Run, Hamlet, run.
Where are you going, Hamlet?
"I am going to find Uncle Claudius" says Hamlet.
On the way he passes a brook. In the brook he sees Ophelia. Ophelia is drowning.
"Where are you going?" asks Ophelia.
"I am going to find Uncle Claudius."
"Glub, glub," says Ophelia.
On the way he meets a man.
"Where are you going?" asks the man.
"I am going to find Uncle Claudius" says Hamlet.
"Oh, NOOOO. I am Laertes," says the man. Let us draw our swords. Let us duel."
"I don't think I am going to find Uncle Claudius," says Hamlet.
See Hamlet and Laertes duel.
See Laertes stab Hamlet.
See Hamlet stab Laertes.
See Hamlet's mother drink poison.
See Hamlet stab King Claudius.
See everybody wounded and bleeding and dying and dead.
What fun they are having.
Wouldn't you like to play like that?